The Tao of Procrastination and Term Papers

Stanza 64 of the Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tsu

Peace is easily maintained;
Trouble is easily overcome before it starts.
The brittle is easily shattered;
The small is easily scattered.

Deal with it before it happens.
Set things in order before there is confusion.

A tree as great as a man's embrace springs up from a small shoot;
A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth;
A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

In student terms:

Why did I wait until the last minute to start this huge paper?

The Flank of the Algebraic Has Been Turned!

Our side reports from the Front that victory is imminent in the struggle for control of the Island of Algebra. The latest battle has been won overwhelmingly, with no casualties reported. A perfect score, you might say. Slopes and Lines have been routed, and the Functions appear, initially, to be less fearsome than thought. As in all battles, the fight had its tense moments, with our side struggling to kick off the offensive. But, like Patton in France, once the column moved, it moved with determination and precision. The commanding general noted that, though victorious, much effort was required, and yours truly was seen to be "sweating a few problems". The flush of victory was chilled with her next words: "Wait until Pre-Calculus.....you'll be soaking wet after" one of those battles. We suppose that it's an acceptable leadership tactic for the troopsr to be warned that the next fight is never as easy as the last, but we will bask, briefly, in the glow that comes from success.

Face Book

Sitting in class, just as the professor arrives, one student gives another student a birthday card. "How nice of you", says the professor. "I just looked her up on Face Book and found out today was her birthday", said the first student.



And off we went into a discussion of Face book, a phenomenon I had a dim awareness of, but did not completely understand. The professor has an account, all of the students have accounts, and I was encouraged to set up my own account.



The communication aspect of Face Book is unbelievable. For the cell phone, e-mail generation, access to social information does not come from traditional sources. It has even occurred to me that gossip is looking at a near term death, as everyone now has the ability to report their side of every story with a few strokes of the keyboard.



In talking to people about Face Book, I am astonished at the social impact of this kind of activity. Parents are aghast at the amount of information that is "published" by their children. It's fair to say that the notions of privacy held by my generation, which are significantly different from our parents' notions, are not even remotely similar to the privacy beliefs of this new generation. A parent told me a story about the daughter of a friend, an excellent student and well-rounded person in every respect, who posted a picture of herself, at her own Face Book site, posing in a thong and bra. The photo did not, according to my source, upset any of the girl's friends, but a few parents were outraged. Who's to say what is appropriate or not? Does my generation set the standard of behavior for our children, or was our revolt against our parents' standards nothing more than a generational act of hypocrisy? When I, and my wife, and our close friends are mouldering in the ground, or resting in the urn on the mantelpiece of some child's house, will our notions of outrage or inappropriate behavior evince peals of laughter (or expressions of bewilderment) from our progeny?



I tell you, Edith, the kids these days, they're different!

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New Directions

Planning the return to college, I spent hours poring over the Undergraduate Catalog, looking at courses, majors, minors, and all the minutiae that comprises the academic handbook. I read the Honor Code, and the rules on under-age drinking, and generally tried to commit every fact, no matter how unimportant, to memory. I have my courses lined up the next 3 semesters. I know which classes are offered only in the Fall Semester, the Spring Semester, and in summer. I have a pretty good idea of the professors that teach the classes; I know where the classes will likely be held, if recent history is any indicator. I have downloaded the syllabus from professors' websites, in anticipation of taking their class. You might say that I have been a little anal about this entire process (but I try very hard not to behave in an anal fashion when in public, so that's our little secret).

As I might have said in my former career, "develop a good plan and stick to it". Know what you want to achieve and execute. But be flexible, and be prepared to make adjustments as you proceed through the plan.

And so it is is the world of Academe. I have been registered for our "interim" term for several months, having carefully investigated the course offerings, the professors, and so forth, ad nauseam. And all of a sudden, I'm gonna throw that plan in the ditch. A current professor, whose class has been extremely stimulating, but far off my chosen career path (a general education requirement), informed us today that she would be teaching a "writing class", and would any of us like to join her for what should be a very informative, if demanding, exploration of new material and the further development of our writing skills.

Well, of course, I threw caution to the wind, and changed my schedule. I can't wait for this class. I am certain it will be demanding, and I'm not sure that it will help me in my chosen field, but, dammit all, I like her and I like the intention of the class. And it will expose me to things that have not been, in my previous life, a part of my world view. Uncharted waters, you might say. A detour on the road map of my trip through Academe. And, as careful as I have been, I do love turning down that small lane that doesn't appear on my map, and driving into the unknown. Always have, and always will.

Ain't college grand?

On Being The Oldest Student In The Class

So there I sat, quietly, in my usual front row, far left seat, minding my own business, taking notes, paying attention, and enjoying the discussion. The professor, a fine lady with an accomplished academic career, was talking about her subject with great vigor. Out of the blue, she made a comment about her age relative to the subject, and then apparently decided that the class needed another example of late middle age, and so threw my name into the arena! It was A...... this, and A...... that, and "at our age" this, and so forth. It was appalling! If there had been a trapdoor under my seat, I would have exited the classroom immediately. I had arrived, I thought, at a point in this semester where my presence in halls and stairwells and the library was known and commonplace. I had even allowed myself the vainglorious moment or two of thinking that I really was a part of the academic experience, part of the student body, like. I had imagined, however briefly, that I belonged in this wonderful environment.

Well, I do belong in this environment, no matter what anyone says or thinks......

Research Anyone?

Next week, I have two major papers due. Both require serious, college-level research, accurate citations, footnotes, endnotes, bibliographies, and such. Our professors have blithely instructed us to "use the library's databases" for our research. As if this student had a clue. The last time I did any research for a paper cable tv was a brand new concept. The space shuttle had not yet taken its first trip into space. PC was shortharnd for "politically correct", and look what that's turned into. I dimly recall digging through card catalogs (yes, paper records) and tracking down dusty books in remote stacks on the upper floors of the library. Hell, the last term paper I wrote was typed on an IBM selectric with self-correcting tape!

But, today, our fine institution has electronic databases, providing full text records in some, abstracts in others, and, at the very least, citations to other items of relevance. For most of the students, it appears to me, working with the e-databases is old hat, hardly worth discussing. For me, although the concept of a database is familiar, the struggle of looking through literally dozens of databases seems as daunting as trying to find 12 books and reading through them for citable references and scholarly ideas.

You know, it really isn't harder to do things in this new generation, it's just different. The key is keeping the mind flexible and open to new ideas......

Which is what I signed up for in this gig!

On the Slippery Slope of the Unknown Line

Jumping Jehoshaphat! I have made my way inland on the island of Algebra, and can see, in the distance, the Promised Land. Between me and the promise of re-birth in the state known as Pre-Calculus lies the tortuous ground of the Lines, Slopes, and Circles, and farther beyond, the people of the Functions. X-intercepts confused with Y-intercepts, general forms and standard forms of equations that might as well be written in Linear B, subtracting h from x and k from y, completing squares and other magical tricks to arrive at hidden values, all this serves to confuse any student and disorient him so that the Functions can swoop in for the death blow. Yet, so close, so close, is the goal. Can I, perhaps, summon help from a higher form? Others have made the journey and achieved the higher state of Pre-Calculus, so it can be done.

Where there is a will (and the Math lab), there is a way!

The Implacable Otherness of Others

From "In The Lake of The Woods", a terrific novel currently being studied in our English class:

We are fascinated, all of us, by the implacable otherness of others. And we wish to penetrate by hypothesis, by daydream, by scientific investigation those leaden walls that encase the human spirit, that define it and guard it and hold it forever inaccessible.

Whose leaden walls do we seek to penetrate, by whatever means? How well do we truly know those closest to us? Not knowing that otherness, can we base the extent of our self chosen revelation of our innermost self on the perceived acts of others, taking a risk that our honesty is reciprocated or respected?

An amazing discussion in our class, with an astonishing amount of participation and not much unanimity. We humans are a fascinating species......

The Lout!

Walking through the bucolic campus bursting with signs of Spring. Beautiful azaleas, buds on dogwoods, oak pollen everywhere, shorts and lolling on the grass, the palpable sense that Old Man Winter has left the building. The students, as if cued by the changing season, are planning accordingly, but not always with the appropriate amount of sensitivity.

One end of an overheard cell phone conversation: "He told me that he just didn't see us dating anymore....and then he told me that I was too fat....".

Was I ever that cruel?

The Test

Finally! Done. Gone, but not forgotten....have to save something for the Final. The crammed material was successfully processed into long term memory, helped, no doubt, by the extra 48 hours available for percolation and processing. A good night of sleep before the test, a leisurely, but focused review, and voila'.....a work of precision, fullness, detail, and analysis.

Now, if the professor will just agree with me.

Monday Update

Unbelievably, as I arrived at the building to start my walk up four flights to our classroom for the dreaded test mentioned in my previous post, sirens sounded and emergency vehicles surrounded the building as enthusiastic first responders cleared the building of students, faculty, and other staff. A fire alarm! A false alarm, of course, but the delay causes our professor to reschedule for Wednesday so that we have a full hour to disgorge our knowledge. Are you kidding me? On the one hand, relief that an opportunity for more learning/review is presented; on the other, I was ready, dammit!

Is it fate? Am I destined to earn an A in this class despite my weakness in will? Stay tuned.

The Sunday Before A Monday Test

Halfway through the first semester of what should be a 5 semester ride and I already hate tests on Monday! You know the test is coming, and you know that you should start the review process a week before the test. You know that you have certain other obligations (like a wife, and parents, and those True Friends that everyone has to have), but a mature, responsible adult should be able to handle this. You get out of class at Noon on Friday, so you have plenty of time to get going. But, first, just a quick read of that best-seller that's been sitting on the coffee table for two weeks, followed by a truly delicious supper with the Wife, who's been such a trooper about this whole school thing and the pinching of pennies. Can't deny her a little quality time. Then, there's all day Saturday...but wait, the yard looks like a prairie, and the weeds in the flower beds are the size of small pines, and the neighbors are starting to look at you a little funny. Then, before you know it, it's lunch time, and, gosh I'm tired after all that mowing and weeding and raking. Maybe a short nap. What, it's time to go to that very nice cocktail party for our Dear Friend's niece's engagement? Well, then, we'll get at it good and hard early on Sunday.......right after going to the grocery store for breakfast supplies, and a leisurely read of the paper, and a few cups of that good coffee. What's that......CBS Sunday morning has a nice piece on? Oh well, just a few minutes. Hey....look at this....the race is on. Just watch a few laps and then get cracking.

10:00 PM.....eyes itching from the giant nuggets of sand, I'm sure the blood vessels are broken in both eyeballs. Yes, I'm very confused about the difference between Confucianism and Daoism, and I can't seem to memorize those damn Chinese words for sacred duty, and nothingless nothing, and polished jade, or the block of wood. Tranquility and Harmony? Not for me this dreadful night. I wonder if Gilgamesh felt the same fear as I do contemplating the termination of my academic career? Was Moses as nervous as I am when The Lord spoke to him from the burning bush? How will I ever keep this stuff straight, much less write anything that will please my very discerning professor? Make sure the alarm is set for 4:50 AM.....got to try to jam it all in.

Don't do this again.

To Former Bosses I Have Known

This week, our English class is reading Antigone, by Sophocles. Before now, all I knew about Antigone was that Starbucks sold a CD by an all female band called Antigone Rising. So, I was familiar with the name, if not the concept.

As seems to be the case with everything that we read in this class, the words resonate deeply with me and remind me, again and again, of the life lessons that I have learned, sometimes the hard way. Our professor and the preface in the textbook tell us that the heroine, Antigone, represents Natural Law, and that Sophocles used the story to remind the Greeks of the inherent conflict between Natural Law and Man's Law; that, perhaps, those who would impose Man's Law in opposition to Natural Law will inevitably lose that battle. Indeed, the introduction in the textbook says: "In the 1960's, the story of Antigone was especially meaningful to those Americans who engaged in civil disobedience in struggles for civil rights and against the war in Vietnam." Well, I will concede the first part of that bit of philosophy, but will quibble with the validity of the second part.

For me, the most interesting character is Creon, the king. Newly crowned, unsure of his hold on power, he is portrayed as unreasonable in his exercise of authority. He appears willing to sacrifice his family in order to maintain his authority. Unwilling to listen to the reasoned arguments of his son and advisers, he holds to a position that ultimately leads to his undoing.

Perhaps Antigone is the exemplar of adherence to a principle higher than any mortal rule. I also think that Sophocles is also trying to teach the Greeks about leadership and management. Who among us with experience in the corporate world has not worked for a person that would not listen, could not be wrong, and should never be challenged? Creon is the perfect example of the worst kind of bosses I have had. Here's one piece of the play that really is a teachable moment:

I beg you, do not be unchangeable:
Do not believe that you alone can be right.
The man who thinks that,
The man who maintains that only he has the power
To reason correctly, when you know him, turns out empty.
It is not reason never to yield to reason.

To listen to your people, to trust what they say, to understand that it is not a sign of weakness to not have the only solution to every problem.....these are the lessons of Antigone. To all you bosses out there.......read this and try to learn from it.

Dreaming in Redneck

Loitering in class and talking about the spring break soon to commence, I asked my classmates about their plans for the vacation. Unlike apparently everyone else at my college, none of us had any plans other than going home. V..., who is a second generation Greek (in the real sense), told me that she would be working in her family's restaurant. I asked about her family, their business, and their "Greekness", and, being more curious than discrete, asked if she ever dreamed in Greek. For some reason, my question elicited much response from the others, mostly about the ridiculous nature of the question. The class wit, L.....B......, who is much more intelligent than her reticence would indicate, promptly declared that she, being from a small town in our state and speaking no language other than her native tongue, dreams in "redneck". Her glance in my direction seemed to challenge my opinion of that notion, but this old codger is too old and wise to take that bait....and I made no response. Since that moment, I have been unable to think of any dream without having imposed upon the characters the lovely lilt of a soft South Carolina accent. Dreaming in redneck.........

Primary and Secondary Sources

Today's perambulation through the blogosphere brings this morsel to the plate:

Students in history classes at Middlebury College this spring may have to change the way they do research for papers or tests. Although they can consult the online encyclopedia Wikipedia for background, they are not allowed to cite it as a source...

...Just this month a dark cloud fell over Wikipedia's credibility after it was revealed that a trusted contributor who claimed to be a tenured professor of religion was actually a 24-year-old college dropout. He was also one of the appointed "arbiters" who settled disputes between contributors.

I find that decision very interesting, for several reasons.

First, it has been made very clear to me by my professors at this fine college that Wikipedia is not a valid source for references. What took the esteemed faculty at Middlebury so long to arrive at the same decision?

Second, on the first day of my history class, Dr. P....... explained to us, in great detail, the meaning of primary sources and secondary sources. He made it very clear that, as a trained historian teaching us to think like historians, he would not accept references, in any paper or test, that used the internet as a secondary source. My notes indicate that he used the word "dilettante" to describe those who, among others, seek to furnish knowledge to the great universe of students via the World-Wide Web. In checking Merriam's online dictionary (not Wikipedia!), it is obvious that Dr. P....... was using the secondary meaning of the word, to wit, "a person having a superficial interest in an art of a branch of knowledge". Synonyms listed included "dabbler" and "amateur".

Looks like Dr. P....... was exactly right. The power of a trained mind exerting discipline and training to establish, in context, the validity of his thesis.

Can I have some of that?

Lollygagging

The Spring Break enters its 6th day, with 3 to go until the Gates of Academe re-open. I'll confess to being ready to begin anew the assault on higher education. I've read some fiction, cleaned up my school files, watched some late night television, been to the gym a time or two, and generally lollygagged around the manse. Frankly, I miss the slight edge of tension that comes from knowing that certain tasks have to be accomplished in a timely manner; texts read, notes reviewed, study notes readied for the tests coming soon, and so forth. This idleness scene is for the young. I got things to do..........

Through The Lens of Time

Professor Bainbridge provides a link and expresses his opinion on young students and their educational choices by noting:

I'm reminded of a saying: students are one of the fewer consumer groups that derive more utility by consuming less of the good they've purchased.

I'm not an economist, yet,......but I will posit that The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility does not apply to adult students. We are returning to college for a specific goal, as all students are, but, at our age, we know what we don't know, and we want to learn as much as we can. Looking through the lens of time, we KNOW that the questions of life can be, partially at least, answered in the halls of academe. But, it takes a few adventures on the path of life to fully comprehend that the ignored questions of our youth do not go away if ignored. They simply recede, or do not present themselves to us until much, much later. We can argue that a narrow exposure to education may help in terms of gaining admission to law school, or medical school, but it fails to give us the perspective needed for the really big questions that will come to us all.

I'm going to get the questions right this time.

Spring Break

Ahhhhh......spring break is upon us!

All week, the chatter overheard in the hallways of academe has been about the long awaited, much needed break from the demands of academic life. Paris, Rome, London, Nassau (we don't think they meant New York, either), Florida.....scattered to the four corners of the globe will be the young students with the money to travel. Even the old students with some extra cash seem to be heading out of town. Some of us will stay near the campus, get some exercise, re-stock the sleep bank, catch up on school work, where necessary, and begin to review for the upcoming tests that professors have scheduled for the first week of our return.

Mainly, though, the break will provide an opportunity for this student to reflect on the first semester of the new adventure. Has it been what I expected? It's been so much more than I expected that it almost defeats my ability to express it in words. The developing relationships with students and professors, the exposure to subjects long forgotten, the re-acquired thirst for knowledge, and the just plain excitement of being on campus.......it's been an exhilirating 6 weeks that only serves to whet the appetite for more....more....more. I'm beginning to understand why professors teach, and what young, fresh perspectives can bring any subject, no matter how dusty and tired.

No, no vacation needed for this student...I'm already on the trip of a lifetime.